Words Of a Feather

To all the times I cried

All those tears running away from my eyes

Racing to reach the bottom of my chin and soil my clothes

The deep breaths that came along with it

I want you again

I want to have you and feel you again

I want to cry for all of eternity over every lost sorrow

So that everyone can come to me, hug me, and make me feel loved

So everyone can obsess over me

So I can drown in my tears and my sadness, feeling the satiating joy of pain

And the more I cry, the more I cry

I think of new things to cry about

So that I produce enough of the ocean’s children from a single day

Enough to hydrate a marathon runner

And I can sink deeper into the abyss of misery

I may feel numb and unknowing, but that is what draws me in

The inability to release the discomfort and dismay

Allowing me to fight all the alluring entities inside

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To all the times I was mad

All those times where my heart raced and blood became thicker than my patience

The times I moaned and groaned around the world

Every time I wanted to punch them

I want you to steer my life again

I want to scream and shout and let it all out

Hit people, throw things, make them bleed

Watch the world burn

I need all the rage inside me to be let out

Every fiber of anger and disgust in my body needs to be released

I’ve spent years alone and upset trapped in the chambers of fury

Waiting to be released, and now I’m not

Yet when I’m angry, I don’t want to be

And I still do

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To all the times I laugh

When the world felt the warm embrace of my giggles and chuckles

My screams of delight and excitement

The times when my smile was bright enough to power a solar panel

I hate you

I love you, but I hate you

And I want to you to be gone once again

You’re too boring for me and I need something to return my misery

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However… I know I cannot cry or rage forever

The world cannot burn in my misery

The world cannot stop for me

I must find a way to heal once again

So what do I do?

I let it all out and wait for the next day

Wait for the sun to rise so I can rejoice in balance

The Ego of my spirit can understand the levity of the situation

And temporarily fix me