Words Of a Feather

Born from the ribs of compassion and eternal love

I slide right down, eyes closed and unready

Excited and upset for the world I’ve been immersed into

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Growing up is a skill

A skill that requires butterflies to be able to do it

I come into the world full of wonder, yet compassion

Told the importance of kindness and spirit

Told to have a positive impact on the world, and a more positive mindset

Then, the world will have me as one of its many graces

I always crack a smile at the sight of dawn and dusk

I say, “Hello, world” and go to school

I see that the people around me return the favor

We compliment, we cheer, we laugh, we hug and kiss

We play together 1,000 times on the same playground equipment

We eat together 1,000 times at the same tables

And when we don’t, we still find someone in the world to fill our buckets

Someone to bring me back to my eternal, euphoric state of peace

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It makes me love the world, want to be in it forever

Even though, unfortunately, I cannot

Yet I won’t falter or succumb

For I have every last ounce of positivity within me

And a world of enthusiasm that’s waiting for what I have to say

I can smell the grass and the dirt

Be tickled by the ants

Beam smiles of sunlight at the flowers and watch them grow up like me

Wave at the clouds as they pass by

And never without swimming in the blue sky

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I imagine myself hugging every problem away

Loving every problem to death

Warming hearts and souls; one will burn

Happy to accept this eternity

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But suddenly, growing up becomes a challenge

One that cannot be overcome in the next day or week

Because I smile and laugh at those around me

Yet their smiles are crooked and unwanted

A compliment cannot go past an icy glare

As it is frozen before melting a heart

The people around me spout words of discouragement

Words meant to empty my bucket

Words that stick in my head much more than before

Not just to me, but to each other

And I can only wonder why?

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Every waking moment, I only wait for the end of the day

As I’m surrounded by people waiting to push each other down

Eyes, nose, face, tone,

Interests, sexuality, skin, belief

Friends, family, lovers, hopes, dreams

Everything is an opportunity to lose yourself

An opportunity for me to watch people wither away

Those who seemed endearing shoot at me like a deer in the forest

Those who were tender tend to laugh at me

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More repugnance is seen in the world

People hate each other

People love to hate each other

They hate when you don’t

They will laugh at you for every chance you have to be kind

They will hate you for standing, they will hate you for sitting

They will hate you for eating, they will hate you for not eating

They will hate you for being skinny, they will hate you for being fat

They will hate you for smiling, they will hate you for frowning

And they will hate you for all the in-betweens

Even when you do nothing and try to be at peace with the world, someone will be there

Waiting to hurt you

And those people will be rewarded with popularity

Those people are “cool” and “iconic”

There is no escape from the cycle of despair

No amount of joy seems to overcome it

As even one moment of kindness is seen as weakness

To these people who have turned blind to kinship

And I can only wonder why?

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Why am I falling for this endless cycle?

Why am I laughing along when it was never funny to begin with?

Why am I the one shouting words of distaste?

I do my best to not fall

I push forward with the gift of kindness

Only to be taken two steps back

One step by a lighthearted, “insulting” joke

Another by one word more sinister, that I would’ve never said prior

The urge to mistreat one another is really that powerful

For friends and enemies alike, it is the one thing they have in common

Seeing the people I love go bad, and seeing the bad people become worse

It only fills me with utter contempt

Is it best to “fit in”?

Is this what it means to be a member of society?

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And worst of all, why am I hurting myself?

I appear to be my worst enemy, more than all the others combined

I cannot waive any longer

I can only spite myself for every imperfection

Every infraction of my soul, from head to toe

And mind to soul

I only grow bitter towards myself

I’m so deformed and disgusting

And vile and ruthless

And flawed and irrelevant

And sensitive and dirty

I can never rise from what I once was

And for every moment I hurt myself, I hurt someone else, too

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So then, I sit and watch the world tear itself apart

No

It is burning, and everyone is the gasoline

The words and actions echo in my head

I feel the tears coming to me, but crying is for weak people, they tell me

It’ll only make me look uglier, according to them

But as my eyes see my body shivering, someone else does, too

This person lifts me up and smiles at me

I can barely muster a smile back, but they don’t mind

They tell me “I think you did a great job singing today”

I can only smile at them, say “thank you”

And watch them leave

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Those words touched me in ways no one has for some time

I stand up properly and hold my head high

For everyone else may or may not be blind to kindness

Some may be afraid of sharing it

But those who aren’t are some of the bravest people alive

Those words made my day and erased most of the pain brought to me by everyone else

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And there are more kind people in the world

I failed to see them earlier as I was surrounded by negativity

By the vices of the Earth

But now, I can only hope for a better future

As every day, people grow the Earth and share what they have

They are honest, and loyal, and everything I’ve been looking for

Sometimes, even they slip up and they say something wrong

But we can all be a bit wrong

There are still plenty of mean people in the world that discourage me

Even myself

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Yet I still smile and give it my all to be kind

Because someone has to